Fatty Fatty Four Eyes

I am uncomfortably plump. I carry about 15 pounds extra weight above my ideal. It's mostly all over so in clothes it's hard to tell how portly I am. But even my eyes have born the brunt of my chocolate and cheese binges. For months now I have been experiencing a feeling in my eyes that they are twice their normal size and multiple visits to the eye doctor have given me no relief or answers. They've decided that the super-sized sensation I have is actually chronic dry eye (CDE - a real medical condition if you can believe it - why not, there's a medical diagnosis for everything else) and think I would benefit from "plugging" my tear ducts so as to keep the tears in my eyes, thus moistened. Thankfully, my tear ducts, the ONLY thing on my body, are too small for plugs. So before boring out my ducts to insert plugs I will be on a regimen of tear production. I know, I know you're all lining up to give me something to cry about. Odd what afflicts us as we age.