As you know Jackson has been living with cancer for at least 18 months. We are fully resigned to the fact that we will lose him to the disease some day sooner than later. We thought that day had arrived over the weekend when he appeared to be knocking on heaven's door. The tumor is growing in his colon which restricts his natural elimination process. We asked the vet how Jackson would let us know that the time has come and he said that he will likely start vomiting. That dog has an iron stomach and has rarely barfed in his whole life so when he threw up 3 times on Friday in conjunction with a couple of days of lethargy and moaning when his belly was rubbed we thought the end was nigh. I picked up some opiates to help ease his pain and administered the pill with his meal on Friday night which he enthusiastically consumed and held down. He had a few hours of deep restful sleep but then was up all night long in and out, back and forth. When we arose Saturday morning he was covered in mud as though he'd been digging- evidenced by the fresh dirt piles in the yard. Was he digging his own grave or tripping out on the meds? His eyes were vacant and he seemed both agitated and withdrawn. We were certain we couldn't put him through another day of suffering and prepared to call doctor death. (The vet will make a house call so he can go to sleep in his favorite spot, the bench seat of Damon's truck, rather than the cold slab of a sterile room.)
Until this week his attitude and behavior was virtually unchanged so it was a little shocking that things could turn so grave so quickly. We had already discussed that as long as he could eat and get belly rubs we would leave him be and take all our queues from him. He loves to "gossip" around the neighborhood and romp with his friends. All of a sudden he started crying in pain and didn't want to walk. Of course he lives to eat so that wasn't a problem but defecating was. He's been nothing but a devoted and loving companion to us so the least we could do for him in return was to let him go gently and peacefully. He is not afraid, has no regrets, no guilt. It appeared as though he was holding on just for us. After a nice long walk on the beach he refused his meal on Saturday night as we prepared to say goodbye. But something made us wait for morning... the tide had turned a little. He voraciously scarfed down his breakfast and demanded a walk. Since then he spends the afternoons lounging in Damon's truck as we stroke him, eats his meals and wags his tail.
Today is Tuesday and he seems to have made a miraculous recovery. I don't want to get my hopes up as I've heard that sometimes there is a brief resurgence in energy before going over the rainbow. But wait! I learned that Jackson had gotten a hold of some raisins last week - one of few human foods HIGHLY TOXIC to dogs. The symptoms he was exhibiting are completely consistent with toxic poisoning. Jackson is a tough little fighter with a obviously strong will to live. He's probably thinking "God, I wish the cancer would hurry up and kill me before my owners do!" - hearken back to the drowning incident of 2 years ago and the swallowed bone last year. We are so undeserving of this precious being but so thankful that he forgives us and wants us to continue rubbing his belly.
