Terrorists!

We live in urban Los Angeles but there is a lot of wildlife right in our back yard. We have squirrels which eat out of our hands and respond to the names we've given them. A family of opossums has to been known to set up camp in our neighbor's walk-in closet. Over the years we have been awoken many nights by raccoons playing on our roof or jumping from tree to tree outside the window. It's actually quite amusing and feels like we're living in the wilderness at times. Jackson was always very keen to pesky little intruders onto our property and charged out from a snoring slumber to chase them off. Now that our dutiful watchman has retired the antics have been ramped up.

Frankie, our 7 1/2 year old cat, has a penchant for indoor/outdoor living. (No wonder, it's like a jungle out there!) We used to have a winterized pet door in our bedroom before the new construction started but it was relocated to the garage during the project. Frankie would never use the door and I couldn't figure out why until I observed him one day. It had 2 thick plastic panels so I presume he couldn't smell through both to determine what dangers lurk beyond. As a consequence we've had to replace the access panel with a flimsy flap that he'll use. We also have a little cut out in the door between the garage and the kitchen just big enough for Frankie to fit through - mind you, he's a pretty big cat. Basset Hounds are one dog breed that will eat themselves to death so we could never leave his food down and Frankie's was always elevated so Jackson wouldn't scarf it. Frankie has been eating his food atop Damon's workbench in the garage for his whole life. All aforementioned details aim to set the stage for what happened last night.

We pulled in the garage using the opener and noticed that Frankie's food station was in utter disarray - water and food dishes tipped over - the Tupperware canister storing his food opened and laying in the puddle of water on the floor, the trash can was askew with its bag shredded and hanging half in and half out of the pet door with wet tracks scurrying away from it. Damon grabbed a flashlight to see a gigantic masked rodent hurdling the fence and shooting a perturbed glance our way. I, myself perturbed, cleaned up the mess and brought the food in. Knowing that raccoons are highly adaptable creatures I thought perchance I was making an error. I have no interest in having the cat food inside our house - it's messy and it stinks; a dirty outdoor cat is bad enough let alone having his food and litter inside as well. With that I brought the cat in and we went to bed.

Frankie is a bed hog and I nodded off feeling him nuzzled into my legs restricting any movement not unlike any other night. Some time later I shot straight up in bed hearing an alarming noise. Someone was inside our house! So I shook Damon awake and we lay there listening a moment so we knew what kind of weapon we'd need to combat our perpetrator. I realized Frankie was no longer on the bed and said "oh it's just Frankie having a midnight snack." Damon wasn't satisfied and grabbed the flashlight and headed quietly down the hall. What he saw was a small family of raccoons noshing on Frankie's food in our kitchen! He obviously startled them and one by one they scampered off through the hole in the door.

So here we are strategizing at 3 am about how to outsmart raccoons, which unless you have a gun is no easy feat. I have no intent on killing or trapping the little vermin as our neighborhood is where they've made their home. I imagine the family has outgrown the food supply or perhaps they are simply opportunistic and the temptation was far too great. What I know for sure is that we must coexist. I need the raccoons to remain somewhere on the perimeter of my house and my cat needs to feel comfortable in his environment. If they run into Frankie he will lose that vicious battle. I think he recognizes these odds as evidenced by curious behavior that warned me he knew something had overrun his rule for which he was no match.

We have decided to test the boundaries of nature. Tonight we are leaving a small amount of food in Frankie's dish on the workbench with the lights all ablaze. If the light doesn't deter these nocturnal creatures we'll pick up the food for a few nights and establish a pattern of fruitlessness. Maybe they'll pass us up if there's nothing to steal. When we can decide on the esthetic we'll install a motion light in the backyard which should spook them enough to skidaddle. As a last resort we've learned of a special cat door with RFID collar whereby the cat approaches an electric door and his personalized collar activates a sensor which opens the door securing the notion that only authorized entries allowed. Terrorists be gone.

No tampering and nonsense last night. Fingers crossed.