A Fleshy Menagerie

I'm living in a menagerie - a maniacal and wondrous menagerie. You'd never know that Jackson had surgery a week ago. He is miraculously recovered. And there is nothing better than snuggling with my sweet doggie on a summer afternoon in the hammock listening to the wind rustle through the trees. Ahhhh. Not an hour later, as I was reflecting on what angelic animals I have, Frankie, the cat, for the first time in his life got up on our kitchen counter top and stole a steak right off the plate!! He's lost his mind - and nearly his head.

As if I don't have enough to worry about with Jackson, I'm very concerned about Frankie. He has lost about 25% of his body weight. We've done blood tests to screen for diabetes and thyroid disease (who knew both are prevalent in cats) but there is no glaring culprit for his weight loss. He has a very hearty appetite but is a skeleton of his former self. Incidentally as his weight is going down our neighbor's cat's is going up. It's possible that she is getting to Frankie's food making it look like he's the glutton. He'll be going for a wellness check and immunizations next week and I'm reluctant to learn what the problem is. My poor heart can't take any more bad news.

The Good, the Bad & the Ugly

I just received a call from Jackson's doctor. The pathology report is in. The tumor was malignant and because of a nerve very close to the gland they could not take out as much tissue as they would have preferred. He feels confident that they got all the cancer but he expressed the possibility that microscopic traces remain. He suggests that we involve the cancer team to discuss a course of monitoring through blood work or some other means since we are intent on avoiding chemotherapy and/or radiation.

Don't Worry, Be Happy : )

This is a commentary by Dave Romanelli on the article that I've posted in the "Mixed Nuts" section of my blogspot. He points out 3 specific things that happiness can be attributed to.


We’ve all heard countless studies, articles and TV interviews on happiness. But the other day I stumbled upon something that is just now being revealed to the media for the first time (Atlantic Magazine). It's a 72 year old study that began all the way back in 1937 when 268 Harvard University sophomores were asked to participate in a study measuring “a formula-some mix of love, work, and adaptation-for a good life.” And while many of those who were college sophomores in 1937 are now dying or in their fading twilight, this study continues to be diligently maintained to this very day.

And never before has science been able to report such fascinating and thoroughly time-tested results on happiness. Following are 3 powerful lessons from this study.

1. Have a Healthy Outlet

So many of the people in this study seemed to have all their ducks in a row. In their prime years in the 1950’s and 1960’s, they were making big money in powerful careers. They had beautiful families and lived in idyllic neighborhoods. Oddly enough, later in life, many of these fortunate people ended up breaking down mentally and physically. Why? If one didn’t have a healthy outlet for their fears, nerves, and struggles, it was only a matter of time before repressed demons erupted to the surface. The happiest people in this study had a healthy outlet. They were altruistic or had a rich sense of humor. They funneled their issues into sport, “their lust into courtship.”

It’s something important to consider. As the study proves, a human being can get away with sustaining daily nerves, fears, and doubts for a number of years. But ultimately, such a nervous nelly will crack. If you haven’t already, develop an outlet…find a sport, commit to helping others, lighten up, and laugh more often. A wise one said, "A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs, jolted by every pebble in the road."

2. Don’t Take Yourself Too Seriously

This study, as reported in Atlantic Magazine, was summed up beautifully by the journalist Joshua Shenk: “Herein lies the key to a good life--not rules to follow, nor problems to avoid-- but an engaged humility, an earnest acceptance of life’s pains and promises.”

In other words, one can only carry the burden of a big ego and lots of pride for so long before your proverbial knees will buckle. Don’t take life too seriously. We all have weaknesses. Do you really want to battle your dark side year after year? Or might it just be time to lay down your arms, take a deep breath, and enjoy life. It’s shorter than you think.

3. Happiness Must be Shared

The other night I was watching the movie adaptation of Into the Wild, the true story of Chris McCandless. Fed up with the rat race, McCandless graduated college in the early 1990's, left his worried parents in the dust, sold all his belongings, and ventured deep into the Alaskan wilderness. Before dying of starvation, he seemed to regret his isolationist ways and wrote these last words in his journal, “Happiness only real when shared.” According to the 72 year old study, McCandless was spot on. In the study, those who spent too much alone time ultimately struggled. The happiest subjects in the study were those who sustained meaningful, healthy relationships with friends and family. One can never give enough hugs, say enough "I love you's," and send enough "I miss you's."

As I emphasize in my book and to my own crazy self each and every day: Livin' the good life is not fancy trips, and expensive jewels, and high brow country clubs. Rather, livin' the good life is livin' the moment!

Little Bo Beep can't count sheep

Tuesday:
Jackson cried and whimpered and moaned ALL night last night save maybe two hours. He was clearly in pain once the anesthesia and everything wore off. He was prescribed an opiate pain medication which we administered as directed. Shortly thereafter the crying started. The doctor told us that it was on the low end of the scale so if he needed more we could give it to him. So I pushed more and more pills with inacquiescence from him. I was afraid of overdosing him but likewise I was afraid that he was suffering. All along Damon said he thought he was tripping on the drugs. When I finally spoke to the doctor this morning he confirmed that Damon's assessment was probably accurate and we should observe how Jackson tolerates the pain sans meds throughout the day. Damon was with him the first half and said he cried intermittently. I've monitored him the second half and have noticed a large improvement although his eyes tell me how uncomfortable he is. I feel sick to my stomach knowing that he's hurting and unable to relieve it. I sure hope the surgery was worth it.

Wednesday:
Damon got called in for a job interview so I had to come home midday to be with the patient. When I got here he was sunbathing in the back yard which is a typical activity for him. The only difference is that he has a gaping hole in his ass that ants were sniffing around! I was petrified that they would crawl into the drain tubes and into his body. The rest of the day we opted to refrain from the use of pain medication at all since Jackson seemed to improve immensely. As a result he had a much better night. He doesn't often get to sleep in our bed but I thought I would put him in bed with me that way he could take the cone off and I would feel it if he tried to chew out his stitches. When I went off to bed I tried to get him to come with me but he wanted to stay on his own bed in the den. I had no choice but to put the collar on. An hour later I woke up to his moaning again. I realized that he was muggin' over that stupid collar so I coaxed him to come to bed with me. He quickly realized that he could get the cone off if he got up on my bed so he capitulated. We both had a restful night with only one interruption.

Thursday:

My lovebug accompanied me to work today - he was a very good assistant. He seems to be recovering miraculously. We still haven't received the pathology report but it may be available when we take him in tomorrow to have the drains removed. I'll keep the updates coming as I know some of you have asked.

Frankenstein's pet

Jackson came through the surgery just fine and is home resting now. I feel just awful for him as he has a drainage tube where the incision is to keep the area free from infection but it's hanging out of his bum so he keeps assuming the defecation position. So sad. There's not much blood but the area looks like its been butchered. It's probably just the swelling, shaving, sutures and dried blood but what a mess. He will have heavy pain medication as well as antibiotics for 5 days and a cone for 15, until the stitches come out. His appetite is as robust as ever which is a good sign but he does whimper now and again breaking my heart each time. I've been keeping a warm compress with peroxide on the area trying to keep him comfortable and of course he can still roll over for belly rubs. Never too down and out for that! I hope he'll fight through this thing and give us more joyful time.

A picture is worth $2170.43 and a couple bad words

Here's the X-ray that shows the bone that Jackson swallowed last week. You can see it quite clearly at the top of his stomach just under the spinal column in the left 3rd of the image. While this is an exorbitant amount of money and I know many of you think I'm crazy to drop it on a dog I am so grateful that this happened. I truly believe that things happen for a reason. He had just had a full check up 2 or 3 months ago and either the tumor wasn't there or it was missed. Unless he became symptomatic we wouldn't have found it for another year. By then there would have been no chance to save him. So as it stands he'll have the gland removed tomorrow and we'll monitor him very closely.

How!

Pigtails, polka dots and penises (sp?) are only acceptable if you're an LA dog! Sounds more like the title of a new Hank Moody novel. Jackson had the ultrasound today to see if the cancer had spread to his lymph nodes. The doctor said it looks clear and they appear to be normal size so we're hoping that removing the tumor will keep a recurrence of cancer at bay. Surgery is scheduled for Tuesday.

"I'm sorry but there is a malignant tumor in his right anal gland"

Life really knows how to wallop you when you aren't expecting it. I must say it was never a thought in my head that my sweet gentle boy who's always been the epitome of health would end up with cancer. I envisioned that he would just walk over the rainbow in his sleep at an old decrepit age. I am sure not ready for this.

All I have to say is thank God he swallowed that bone! He had just been in for a check up a couple of months ago and either they missed the tumor or it has just appeared. It was discovered during the pre-op exam the other night. The doc said she thought something didn't feel quite right to her so she wanted to aspirate it. I fully expected that it was just a way to get more money out of me. When I got the call this morning my heart stopped - ok, sank. So now that I've had some time to digest this unthinkable reality I've made some decisions. Jackson goes in tomorrow for an ultrasound of the pelvic area so we can determine whether or not the cancer has spread to his lymph nodes and beyond. We are praying it hasn't so we can proceed with surgically removing the tumor. I am completely against chemo. and/or radiation therapy. I want my dog live as happily and actively as possible. It is really hard to be in this position to effectively play God. We will intervene where we can as long as it is in the DOG'S best interest.

Pump it up

Just heard from the doc... took him about 3 hours to remove the bone from Jacksie's belly even having to pump his stomach. Thankfully there is no noticeable organ perforation but he said his throat is pretty torn up. I had hoped to bring him home tonight but they want to keep him overnight for monitoring and to regulate his pain meds. My poor baby has had some real trauma this year. He'll probably dream of something other than juicy steak bones tonight.

Here we go again

My dog is SO cute and SO dumb. I guess you can't have everything. Jackson swallowed a 6 inch raw steak bone initiating another very expensive visit to the critical care hospital. They took x-rays to see where and how it was positioned to determine how to proceed. They called in a surgeon who will try to extract the bone, which is currently lodged in his stomach, endoscopically. They are confident this procedure will be successful but if not he will have to have surgery to remove it. Poor baby :[ I know he is uncomfortable and is salivating profusely. They cannot induce vomiting because it could perforate not only the stomach but puncture the esophagus on the way up. So they sent me home and said hey would call when it's over and I may even be able to bring him home tonight.